Order Your State Fair Coupons, Be First in the Beer Line!

First and foremost, I would like to wish you all a Happy 90210! Please take time today to remember those special moments near and dear to our hearts...Kelly's coke addiction, Ray Pruitt and Donna outsmarting her stalker rapist by calling David, "Dave."

Moving on...it's finally September, which means cooler temperatures are right around the corner (hopefully) and football will consume the lives of our loved ones. We are exactly one month away from the third greatest day of the year, IMO (Christmas and my birthday, ranking 1 and 2 respectively)...Texas OU Weekend at the State Fair of Texas! And boy, have I got a little treat for you!

Many of you recall arriving to the fair around 9am, giving yourself a couple hours to slam some brews, eat a turkey leg, ride some rides and throw up all before the 11a.m. kick off. But right when you walk in, you have to wait in that long-ass coupon line to get enough coupons only to have to wait in another long-ass beer line.

Well, not any more! Aside from the 2:30 kick off time, you can now order your coupons online ahead of time! It sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me. Order online. Arrive at State Fair. Find turkey leg. Am I right or am I right?

You can thank me later. At the fair. With a turkey leg. And a beer. And a fried S'more. And a...I'll stop.

FOOTBALL BITCHES

College Football starts tonight! That's pretty much it

I don't even care that UT doesn't play till Sat, I will be watching some damn pigskin

Chuckle Of The Day

Between 2 Ferns strikes again, but this time Seth, Zach's brother fills in

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Sean Penn from Between Two Ferns

"Is there a Six Flags in Haiti?"

Sweet Ass Blog Alert

okay, maybe more like Nasty Ass Blog alert...

Please cover your eyes and prepare your gag reflexes for Your Mom Is At The Club!

A nice collage of cottage cheese thighs squeezed into lots of spandex booty shorts and in some desperate need of underwire. Please mothers.....have any of you ever heard or a bra? I'm pretty sure none of you have had one on at any point in the last 20 years after looking at your sagging bags.

I can GUARANTEE you T4T's mommas will never be showing up on this site. What about you? Do you know what your mom was up to last night? Do you?? Dooooo youuuu?????

You're Kidding Me, Right?

I have come across some downright startling news over the last 24 hours. Two different stories. Both really embarrassing stories.

The first one:
Okay, a little background -- apparently there's a pretty handy website called, OpenBook.com, that allows you to search a specific word or phrase and it will pull up all the Facebook statuses from around the globe with the matching keywords. Now, it only can pull up the stati of those who don't have any privacy settings and allow the entire world to see their profile, so don't worry...the world can't see that you were pissed when Wes was voted off Bachelor Pad last night (oops, SPOILER ALERT!).

Okay so, on to the matter at hand. I came across this article that discovered a simple search of the word, "mosk" would pull up a whole slew of results. Low and behold...it did! WHAT?! Seriously? There are people out there who are spelling the word 'mosque' like that?

Personal Fave:
"Jeremy Hadden why the fuck would the build a mosk in the 911 site, that is so fucken disrespectful, when ever that thing is done hopefully some one blows it up"


And these aren't children either. If you're old enough to put the words 'fuck' and 'shit' in your status update, you're old enough to know how to fucking spell the word 'mosque,' am I right? I mean, I just don't know what to say.

And on to the second story:
A recent poll from dating website CanDoBetter.com (side note: I had never heard of this website until last night, but it definitely entertained me for a good 25 min), discovered that 64 percent of Gen Y women would release a sex tape if they knew it would help advance their careers. Seriously!? Ladies! Please! And over a third of them (36 percent) would blackmail a co-worker to get ahead. You're kidding me, right?! This is ridiculous! Where are these ideas coming from? I don't mean to get all Grandma Mary on you guys, but that's just downright sad and disgusting. Someone please tell me I'm not alone here...anyone...please.

Anyway, that's really all I have to say. America please, use spellcheck and keep the videotapes to yourselves.

Can I Be Photoshopped In This Pic?

That would be Tina Fey, Amy Pohler ANDDDDDD Jon Hamm getting down on that dance floor at an Emmy after parr-tayyyyy

Please let me photoshopped in this pic, right next to Don Draper himself. With a glass of scotch on the rocks in my hand......swoon

Chuckle Of The Day

Calling all VIRGINS!! Not that I think there are any that read our blog? (no judgement y'all, but I'm willing to put $ down that no virgins have ever wandered upon our little site, and if they did I'm fairly sure they threw holy water straight onto their computer screen)

This gem of a billboard was spotted in Downtown Austin in fact. If this doesn't get your attention, then I don't know what will? I actually got this in a text last night from one or my new roomies Hollis (shoutout to the Treehouse Daycare)

So of course I called it. Well after we had a 20 min discussion about the Reject Hotline. Do y'all remember those? I think I used to have a few, but alas I only had one left in my phone back from fresh yr of college. Of course I called it to remember what it said, and yes I did give it out once or twice. I really wish I could start giving this # out, but alas no one will believe I have a # w/ and 888 area code

Well, back to the Virgins. Please call this. It isn't some joke. It is in fact a Virgin Hotline. There are several options and you will be sad if you don't call and listen to Zach. He even whispers

ps. the reject # is in fact:617-861-3962 I knew y'all would want to call that too for a trip down memory lane