Tit for Tat

Bon Rappetite!!

2012-01-27T13:35:00.002-06:00

WHAT??!!?

Why the hell did I not think of something like Bon Rappetite?

Seriously! I want to go here so damn bad..... do we have any readers that live in the ATL that

1) can go and make sure this is in fact a real establishment, and the internet isn't just punking me today

2) eat there and do a full T4T blog report

3) let me come crash on your couch so I can do one thing, and one thing only in Hot-lanta

Now, I am pretty sure that only white ppl will fall for this shit, but hot diggity dog! This is like the best, hokey, tourist shit I have seen since...... well Hard Rock Cafe/Planet Hollywood

I mean Wocka Flocka Flamble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Slap yo momma and someone get me a tee from here stat!

The Most Recent Shit [insert group of persons here] Say...But This One's Funny Though.

2012-01-27T09:22:00.000-06:00

Okay, I know there's like a bazillion of these now...some funny. And some....really fucking stupid. Actually don't even watch that last one. It's terrible.

But this one....THIS ONE. Is greatness. For all my 30 Rock peeps, I present to you:

Shit Liz Lemon Says. Blarg!

Chuckle of the Day

2012-01-26T15:16:00.005-06:00

Oh hai. What up bitches? Miss me?

Actually..... dont answer, cause its gonna be awkward when I say I havent missed yall.....

Alright, thats a huge load of crap, I miss this lil blog #tear, but have been stuck in an office this whole year with my Vice Pres sitting 16 inches from me. No literally. We could sit at our respective desks and hold hands. all. day. long. Jealous much?

She also has a direct view of my computer and its hard enough trying to hide the gchat pop ups that come every 15 seconds, let alone this old bloggity blog blog.

Alas, shes gone for the day so I can get back to my real job ---> posting random crap I find on the interwebs and blabbing about it in 250 words of less

So here we go with our chuckle of the day..... like this caused me to audibly chuckle aloud more times than is socially acceptable (however I have the humor of a 12 yr old boy, so its really neither here nor there)

Take a gander at T Rex Trying

and thats all I have. Nope thats all I have to say about that. If you dont get it, never come back to this site.

Also, if you really want to know what goes on in the life of a 12 yr old boy, working in the real world make sure you are following the T's on twitter. No really. I tweet more than it is necessary. You can find me here and Aves here.

toodles.

Sweet Ass Blog Alert: Best Blog in America

2012-01-13T11:48:00.000-06:00

The title says is all muchachos. As the first official "sweet ass blog alert" of 2012, I thought no blog is more appropriate than The Best Blog in America. Aside from displaying the best and worst in America, you can also learn important information such as:

Chaz Bono is single.

Jessica Simpson, we think, is carrying triplets.

Willow Smith is a fugly skank.

But I digress...So I encourage you all to visit The Best Blog in America, to be in the know on all things America so you don't sound like an idiot the next time someone asks you about Seraphina Affleck or your thoughts on Hollywood's latest trend: walking canes.

Also, I encourage you all to follow the blog's manager on Twitter. It's literally - the best Twitter account in America.

The Holidays

2012-01-12T08:56:00.002-06:00

Aren't the holidays an excuse for everything?

Laziness
Over-eating
Over-drinking
Not working out
Wearing the same pair of pants for three days in a row
Not brushing your hair
Not updating your blog
Not shaving your legs
Eating a full sleeve of oreos when you come home wasted at 2am...

Hopefully you see where I'm going with this...I'm using the holidays as my excuse for not updating the blog in the last...month or so.

With that being said - it's a new year and a new me! I'm going to brush my hair, change my pants more often and update this blog slightly more that I did last month!

And like Stephanie said below - we only have like 350 more days to live, so there's no reason T4T needs to die before then!

Does anyone even visit this site?

Happy Happy New Year!!

2012-01-03T12:16:00.001-06:00

Hope all you kiddies had a fabulous New Years Eve! anddddd day

T4T is still dealing with the last week of ringing in the new year, but will hopefully begin posting things other than pictures with one sentence (key word being hopefully)

Anywho, we only have one yr left on this planet, so better get some more posts up in 2012?

Chuckle of the Day

2011-12-27T14:02:00.002-06:00

funny, yet effin creepy!

Would it be too much if I printed this off any hung it up on my cube wall. Then anyone that came by to talk to me/annoy me I would just phase out of the convo and begin staring at it......

I think they would instantly walk away....no?

Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme

2011-12-27T10:36:00.000-06:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

OMG I just want to pet his lil paws!

Chuckle of the Day

2011-12-21T13:12:00.001-06:00

Chuckle of the Day 2.0

2011-12-09T12:01:00.000-06:00

(was way toooooo good not to post)

Chuckle of the Day

2011-12-09T10:39:00.001-06:00

Dis Shit Dont Stop Yall........T4T: We at it again

Chuckle of the.....MONTH

2011-12-06T11:44:00.003-06:00

I have been laughing so hard at my desk, that actual tears came out. This is by far the greatest thing I have found on the interwebs in a while, so I had to upgrade from chuckle of the day...... to chuckle of the month. Because lets be honest, I challenge someone to send me something that tops this:

I have way to much commentary on each of these, so I feel it is only fitting to dissect each one separately. Hunker down, this could take some time

DLOD: Doing Lots of Drugs - This is probably the most basic thing that parents think teens are texting each other all day long. I will have to say, that if they are doing drugs, lots of them in fact, why didnt you invite me? I can kick it with some 13 yr olds for a bit...... alright totes kidding yawwwwllllll

But for realsies. No one at the age of 13 is doing lots of drugs and texting each other about it. I would like to bet large sums of $ that they have "code" words for each drug of choice, and are just texting each other about the lump sums of it all. Prob goes down something like this "started the day with a smurf, moved onto a my lil pony and later gonna wash it all down with a snuff-a-luff-a-gus"

(just a for instance, or so Ive heard)

SBBQ: Sex Barbeque - Yet again.....thanks for the invite....jeez. This sounds like my type of event. But for real. Yall. No one has ever texted this to each other. Never.

that is until I get drunk this wknd and text it to each and every one of you in my contacts. You are welcome ahead of time

OMGB: Old Man Gangbang - I would like to commentate on this a-l-o-t. but my name and picture is still atached to this bloggy blog blog, so I am just going to leave this here (and add to my text arsenal)

okay I have to say something..... What is considered an "old man" to a tween? 20? 25? maybe 18 cause of that whole silly law or something? (kidding!)

PSMD: Parents Suck Mad D.... - Okay. They are totes saying this about you. Get over it. I am 26 years old and spent basically and entire week with my parents recently, and realized they do suck. No offense to my rents out there. It was just more about me being bored outta my mind after 2 days. What do yall do when I'm not around? Just sit and look at the wall? Mad boring yalllllll

NMH: Need More Heroin - Nope. not texting this. what 13 yr old is doing heroin and still hasnt pawned their phone for a lil drug $? Dare you to find one, and dont bring them anywhere around me. Kids are cray yall

PMC: Proplapsing My Colon - 1st off....huh? I had to google this to even find out what it was, and....... just nasty. Ew. No. Eww.

I highly doubt any tweens know what this is, and if they do they must only be paying attention in Health Class. Why on earth would they text this to each other?

(no one will be receiving this from me, and if you do, I have most likely been taken hostage by a tween on Heroin)

LKAB: Lets Kill A Bum - woah. across the line. (and does this tween live in Austin?) If so you best stay away from our main bum Leslie.

I do have to say going on a Bum hunt could be a fun friday night activity (far from the mall or movies) for an average tween, but just find one, and I bet he can locate that heroin you were looking so hard for earlier

(totes adding this as a joke....duh yallllll.....to my text arsenal)

MHIO: My Hole Is Open - from what I hear some those overly sexed up tweens these days (alright, I dont hear anything from them, cause i hate them) but word on the street (or whatever is cool to say these days)

Eff. too many words

Okay. I imagine this is something some experienced 13 yr olds are texting each other. This is also the reason I hope I never have daughters, even though I dont know a single friend of mine that would have said this back then, let alone today.

welll........ of course that is besides Avery. She totes would have said this. freak.

Hey!

2011-12-02T12:29:00.004-06:00

Happy Friday from T4T!

Thanks Caro!

How To Open A Wine Bottle...

2011-11-29T14:24:00.002-06:00

...... when you have no wine opener.

Consider this your early Christmas prezzie from T4T

(stop being a jerk and just watch, I swear this could very possibly come in handy for you at some point in your life)

I mean....the French have thought of e-v-e-r-y-thing.

This is pure genius, and a necessary skill for any Wino.

Homeboy in the video has obviously had his fair share, but can still boy scout that cork off so the party doesn't have to stop. Berets off to you sir! And thank you for teaching me ways of the world

RIP Patrice O'Neal

2011-11-29T13:33:00.002-06:00

Y'all.

No. Seriously. Y'all.

Web Junk 20 was the thing back in college. Not only did T4T dvr the shit outta this show, but we spent countless...... c-o-u-n-t-less hours laying around hungover re-watching, and laughing our asses off at the greatest internet videos OF ALL TIME

Well that, may be an exaggeration, but we used to sit around talking about the clips we had seen, and how lovable and hilarious Patrice was....just a big hilarious teddy bear

So here's to you Patrice! You and your show will never be forgotten, and dare I say that it might have had a hand in getting us to start this lil bloggy blog....I mean think about the amount of stupid videos and pictures we post on here and try to give funny commentary. Think about it.....

(okay deep moment over)

Kitten Phobia. Schmitten Phobia.

2011-11-29T11:13:00.002-06:00

Wooooooooooooooooow . I really feel sorry for this lady. For a couple of reason. One, her sister doesn't give a shit about her phobia. She is so over Sandra and her kitty fear. But I mainly feel sorry for Sandra because she will never...and I mean NEVER be able to enjoy one of life's greatest pleasures...cat web videos. Kittens Inspired by Kittens? LOLCats? The cat that chases the laser pointer up a wall? Cats playing patty cake? And the list goes on. Come to think of it, if Sandra thinks that cats are out to get her, I bet she never uses the internet. Cats pop up all over the place on here. What a shame. What a damn shame, Sandra.

Sooo...everyone's setting their DVRs for this Friday night, right?! Good.

Thanks Casey!

Happy Kardash-iving

2011-11-22T14:16:00.003-06:00

Really, I just wanted a reason to post this very embarrassing Kardashian family memory

I cant really pinpoint what is the worst thing in this... lil robbie looks pretty darn retarded, but hes a kid and doesn't really know any better, and we know Kris styled this entire shoot, so I am gonna have to the EXTREMELY awkward pose Kris & Bruce are taking part in

I mean holy hell. What exactly is happening there? Is he half mounting her in a family workout photo?

I am disturbed, but its a toss up if this pic is more disturbing than this one

Anywho, may you all have some awkward family time this week & serious bonus points to anyone that sends in some of their awkward family photos (debating if I should post some of mine seeing as I have no dignity left on this blog...)

Want

2011-11-21T16:12:00.003-06:00

Screw Snuggies. gimme gimme gimme

I want whatever this alien head, mermaid, blanket sweater is called. Actually, lets just call it that. Perf. Ill take 3. Plz have shipped directly to my house. kthanxbai

Live blogging

2011-11-17T23:12:00.001-06:00

From yourmomisattheclub.com

Marcel the Shell with Shoes on, Take Two!

2011-11-15T09:29:00.001-06:00

"Guess what I want, but I'm not gonna beg for it?"

Oh Marcel!

"Oops"

2011-11-11T09:36:00.000-06:00

"Seriously?"

Have a giggle this Friday morn...

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I'm Thankful for the Internet

2011-11-09T10:44:00.004-06:00

Do you ever wake up and thank your lucky stars for the Internet? I do. Daily. Especially when I come across gems like this and this.

You see, without the Internet, I'd never know what I need to drink while I listen to different kinds of music. Thankfully Drinkify can tell me exactly that. For instance, if listening to Brit Brit, it suggests you drink vodka soda (duh.)...but if you're going to listen to Nine Inch Nails, then you need a bottle of Jack, straight up. Drinkify likes to get a little cute too - after a while, try typing in Skrillex or N Sync.

See, with the Internet you never have to think again!

Now, this next little find is driving me insane. It's like if M. C. Escher went all hipster on us and drank PBRs all day. Moustair is exactly what it sounds like - "Where men meets moustaches meets hair meets moustaches meets hair meets MOUSTAIR." Just take a stroll down this tumblr and don't forget this Thanksgiving to be thankful for the Internet. Because without it we'd never know what to drink or know what it would look like when a man's mustache meets his hairline.

This November, I'm thankful for the Internet. And internet cats. And thankful for Haley and Erin who found these wonderful websites.

Its Officially O-V-E-R

2011-10-28T10:05:00.003-05:00

We have all seen them in action: the plank, the owl, the headless horseman (or whatever its called)

Hell T4T were big fans of the infamous plank this past summa summa taim, but them we grew up (ok hardly) well something happened and we realized the time had past to lay on sticky bar surfaces, and smash out face into some old shot residue

Well, if you thought it was over before, the end really is here

People are now Tebowing

Ugh, shoot me now. If yall dont know what this is reference to, its that fool Tebow who stops to pray at all points throughout any football game, or appearance he makes in public

Dude, we get it. You love Mr Christ. Move the fuck on and get out of everyones way

And a sidenote: If I ever see anyone doing this in public I will kick you in the face*. I am serious. Especially if you stop in the middle of a crosswalk like this dood.

*I may be harboring some serious anger from the outcome of last nights game, but this is how I feel so suck it*

Fred Durst to Star in a Sitcom. No, Seriously.

2011-10-14T13:39:00.006-05:00

Don't act like you didn't blast Limp Bizkit's George Michael remake, Faith, back in the day. That ish was the jam.

I for one would blare it on my cassette/CD player (that also doubled as a karaoke machine), but would always have to run to turn the volume down near the end when Fred so eloquently tells us to "get the fuck up." One time, I forgot to do it and my dad busted in my room and confiscated the tape my friend Lacy made for me (shout out!). He asked if he needed "to listen to the rest of the tape to see what other kind of garbage was on there," but I told him that was unnecessary. So he pulled out all the tape within the cassette and threw it in the trashcan. That was (thankfully) the end of my Limp Bizkit listening days.

Fred went on to create more music that could possibly make your ears bleed, started a few song battles with Christina, Eminem (right?) and Carson Daly (why?), before fading into overweight, balding oblivion.

For some unknown reason, CBS has decided to take a leap of Faith (I had to) and cast this man in an actual sitcom. I know, I had to read the article like five times to make sure I read it correctly. And what I really don't understand is that the working title of the show is currently "Douchebag." I don't know what's worse? Fred or the title?

One thing's for sure, Fred and Douchebag definitely go hand-in-hand, however CBS and sitcom should run far, far away. This is idiocracy, folks. Brace yourselves.

Sidenote, SPIN magazine is having fun with the hashtag #FredDurstSitcoms for other title suggestions...enjoy.

Chuckle Of The Day

2011-10-13T12:06:00.003-05:00

This.

This is my life you guys. Imagine working with only women (sorry going against my own gender for a hot minute) and everyone....EVERYONE thinks their email is of utmost importance

My personal fave is when in an email chain, a chain that did not start out with the hated red !, suddenly 7 emails in, it appears on someones reply. Please for the sake of humanity, and our gender, slow your trigger finger down and dont click the lil red dagger

Nicki Minaj 2.0

2011-10-12T11:07:00.002-05:00

Okay by now everyone has seen this little Barb and her fabulous cover of Nicki's Super Bass. I said to a couple of friends last week that I wasn't sure if this was cute, awesome or scary? And I'm pretty sure it's all three. If you haven't seen the vid, here you go:

Cute, right? Awesome, huh? Pretty scary, don't ya think? Well, Saint Ellen has managed to bring the two together (along with that little tag-a-long, whos just ridin' Sophie's coattails to the top)...and Sophie could not be any cuter. Watch:
video platform video management video solutions video player

Just Sayin'

2011-10-07T12:19:00.004-05:00

Photo cred to Justin Terveen (well, I actually stole it off Facebook, but he is the actual photographer).

It's clear the new Omni Hotel has made its choice. And I too, have made a choice! I've chosen to eat the fried salsa and buffalo chicken strip deep fried in flapjack batter. But not before a corny dog, of course. Merry TEXmas!

And this just in!
Sage advice from my mother:

BOO!

2011-10-06T11:41:00.004-05:00

oh hai. Yes, I am still alive, I'm sure this will upset a large quantity of you, but alas....

I just wanted to drop by and talk about something I H-A-T-E (very original, I know)

but I despise, DEEEESSSPPIIISSSEEEEEEEE Haunted Houses. I can't think of nothing more tortuous than a Haunted House. nothing. So much in fact I fairly sure I stayed at a bar somewhat alone, several TX/OU wknds ago in Dallas while all my "friends" went to one.

The last time I attended one/ was forced against my will, was soph yr of HS for some "team building" jv cheerleader thang (ps. the discomfort I feel from writing that last sentence is mind blowing)

Anywho, I basically put some sort of jacket over my head the entire time and buried into the back of one of my 15 yr old friends throughout the entire thing......except.......at one point when we are forced to stop because of a traffic jam. This is when I look to the right and see we are in a pitch black tunnel, and then take the jacket off my head to breathe (rookie mistake). At the exact moment I feel something breathing on my shoulder, turn to look and am met face to face with a scary ass 50 something yr old man dressed as a demented clown with blood dripping out of his mouth. Basically I pretty much black out from this point on, but rumors have it I may have hurdled the girl in front of me, thew my jacket on the ground and ran towards any exit i could find, only to be escorted out an emergency exit by a girl that I found wandering around covered in blood in the "bloody sheet room."

moral of this story, is I have not been back since. And also, i found this hil-arious flicker account of Haunted House reactions, and can only imagine what mine would have looked like

Also, speaking of TX/OU, I wont be making the trek #snookiwahhhhhhhhhhhhhh but I would like to request sexting pictures of corny dogs & anything double fried sent directly to my phone for the entirety of Saturday (extra points for any shots of the peeps working the airbrush tee stand as well)

Chuckle of the Day

2011-10-03T11:39:00.003-05:00

And, that's all I got! Thanks, Haley!

Reason No. 42359 Why I Love Melissa McCarthy

2011-10-03T11:27:00.003-05:00

A little dorky, a little uncomfortable and a lot awkward, I think we all saw a little bit of ourselves in Melissa McCarthy's character Megan in Bridesmaids.

No, just me?

Well, whatever...that's beside the point that she was freakin' hilarious and I the whole world wants more of her. I was tickled pink when I found out she was hosting SNL this passed weekend and thought she did a great job. Lots of funny sketches, however this one was by far my fave. I LOVE Linda!

Famous Relatives!

2011-09-28T14:33:00.002-05:00

Kidding, well kinda, no kidding.

My cray cray Great Uncle, has written his 1st novel. Yup. Its true. Dont worry, he sent me a direct fb message about it.... (he has got to be easily 80-85 yrs old, anddddd he has a Facebook!)

This is my Jewish Grandmothers lil bro (not so little) David, who has always told the dirtiest jokes of anyone I have ever met. I am positive he could have cared less if I was a timid lil 7 yr old girl confused as to why I was at a Bar Mitzvah in Santa Fe, and why everyone was looking at me with my blond hair and tan skin like I was a leper, so to make me "fit" in he told me a string of the most inappropriate jokes I have heard to date. I believe his email forwards are 10 times worse, and somehow I got off that a few years ago (kinda regretting that now that I think about it)

Anywho, hes got a new book out. I mean when you have told all your dirty jokes, why not sit down and scribble down a suspenseful romance novel? Am I right?

So, just givin yall all fair warning..... In approx 55 yrs Ill be hunched over some contraption that has replaced the computer penning my debut novel, its in my genes after all

Daily Cuteness

2011-09-27T09:30:00.000-05:00

I mean, really....REALLY?

Thanks, Gary!

Hal-Hal-Halloween

2011-09-21T14:04:00.006-05:00

Yall. I might spend wayyyy too much time thinking about my Hween costume every year.

I really hate anything that is a "Sexy ____" The worst of all of these type of costumes is something that is the furthest from being sexy under any circumstance. For instance a "sexy nemo" Yes as in the clown fish. What the fuck is wrong with people?

Oh you dont think this exists.... well dont mess with me cause here:

Wait, you think thats bad? It only gets better......

What is one of the dirtiest, unsexy thing you can think of? Whats that you say? A Urnial!!

(ps, if anyone I know will be this for Halloween I will purchase all your drinks that night...fo real! no lies. The pictures of this alone would easily be worth it)

Now, I have decided on my Hween Costume for this year! Something I have been dying to be for years, and I am finally going to make it happen #thankgawd

butttttttt, if I hadnt, and I could pull this below look of at a ourdoor show full of people, I would totes be this:

Serououlsy yaaaaaaawwwwlllll, who doesnt remember these atroscious things little gals were forced to play with?

Someone plllllzzzzzzzzzzzzzz be the urinal and the makeup barbie head. kthanxbai

Chuckle of the Day

2011-09-15T10:21:00.002-05:00

Just watch. I didn't even watch with sound...personal favorite part is at :38.

Thanks MFinSTG!

Daily Cuteness

2011-09-14T15:59:00.001-05:00

How stinkin cute are these Gramps & Granny???!!!??

no. seriously? I want to adopt them as my own! They are trying so hard to be hip with the times using a webcam, yet all they want to do is sing a few songs and take a pic of their wrinkles and puurrtttyyyy hair. Too damn cute!

Gimme Gimme Gimme

2011-09-12T13:11:00.003-05:00

So, now that a huge blue northerner has blow into Tejas, hello 90 degree temps, I suppose it is time to start making my X-mas wishlist.....

Too early you say? Well that is complete nonsense. I can not go another day without this item:

All our gracious readers can take up a collection, and this can live in Austin with me half the year, and Aves in the DFdub the 2nd half. Kthanxbai

Chuckle Of The Day

2011-09-09T13:41:00.003-05:00

Guess what all these faces are from......

...Geez, sickos! Just some Olympic divers

Sorry thats all I've got for a Friday...... but look who posted more than once this week! #T4Tizback

Daily Truth

2011-09-08T15:58:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday, JTT!

2011-09-08T09:55:00.006-05:00

Jonathan...for me? You shouldn't have...

I was tickled to learn that it was JTT's 30th birthday today and thought he deserved a special shout out. When I America first fell in love with this young man, he played the cutest (by far) brother on Home Improvement, Randy Taylor.

I still remember that breezy Saturday evening back in third grade, I was at a slumber party at my friend Laura's house and we had just finished watching the critically acclaimed film, Poetic Justice, featuring Janet Jackson (pretty much 100% positive none of us understood what was happening in that movie as we watched). Also let it be known, that I desperately dreamt of singing Jackson's Again (made popular by Poetic Justice) in my talent show that year, but I just couldn't muster up the courage - so I went with a magic act instead. This was also the year that I thought it was cool to unzip your jeans and roll down the top, just a bit, a la Janet on her self titled album, janet. But I digress...

Anyway, so we're at the slumber party, all sitting around gabbing about politics and treasure trolls when someone decides that we all have to tell who our crushes are. We go around the circle one by one, as each girl reveals her classmate crush and then it gets to me. I'm nervous. My palms are sweating. I simply can't reveal my actual crush, who sat next to me in Mr. Marrion's class...so I just said, "JTT. He was amazing in Lion King." And ever since then, Jonathan...you've held a special place in my heart. So, I thought it was the least I could do to give you a little birthday love on T4T.

I love you always and forever. Call me. Kthxbai.

I Scream, You Scream, We All Screm for Schweddy Balls Ice Cream!

2011-09-08T09:25:00.003-05:00

This is almost too good to be true.

After reading the title, you probably said, "Sick...I'd never eat anything with 'balls' in its name (well, except for cheese balls...popcorn balls...butter balls...the list goes on)." But shortly thereafter, I'm sure the SNL fake NPR skit, Delicious Dish, popped into your head and you remembered the famous one with Alec Baldwin as Mr. Schweddy, discussing his most popular holiday treat, Schweddy Balls. If you don't know the skit I'm talking about, you should ~~crawl back into that deep, dark hole you came out of and never show your face again~~ watch it now, right here!

And because Ben & Jerry's is awesome and creates the best ice cream flavors EVER (surely you haven't forgotten about Late Night Snack), it was only a matter of time before some B&J badass thought it'd be a good idea to create a Schweddy Balls flavor. According to the linked article, the flavor is made up of vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum and is loaded with fudge covered rum balls and milk chocolate malt balls. Some of you are probably saying to yourselves, "Who honestly likes milk chocolate malt balls?" UM. This girl does! Whoppers are the shit. They're much better than their chewier, stickier counterpart Milk Duds. Boo. Finally someone is giving the milk chocolate malt ball its 15 minutes.

But unfortunately 15 minutes is all it gets, because the Schweddy Balls ice cream will only be available for a limited time and only in about 30 percent of stores that carry Ben & Jerry's. A small win for malt balls, but a bigger victory for pop culture. Pop culture FTW!

I Think We Can All Agree on This

2011-09-07T19:11:00.003-05:00

FINALLY. Someone said what we've all been thinking.

"Sure, you've performed a few new songs in your BBQ joint."

"I don't give a fuck."

JT, Make music again.

Monster Face

2011-09-07T14:05:00.002-05:00

there is a new Looney Lohan in town.....

That is Lindseys little sis.

What the fuckity fuck happened to her face? She looks Dinas age now. And homegirl, why are you trying so hard to be a ginger (no hate to natural gingers) but being one will not get you a j-o-b. Especially with a face that has aged 20 years seemingly overnight.

I mean they should play this shit in schools, right after the this is what drugs does to your face and hair ads before an assembly. This would/ does scare the living shit outta me. No plastic surgery for me. Hell, and keep me the eff away from Hollywood, if this is what it does to you

Dare I say, Lindsey is looking pretty damn sane to me right about now...

*and ps* it was brought up this past wknd while T4T was together indulging in some debauchery that ppl were really fucking sick of having to look at Katy Perrys kiss covered tatas for a solid month (you have no idea how much I agree with this) and we have vowed not to let this baby die, and never ever ever leave someone as annoying at K Perry up on the screen for that long again....

so with that, please enjoy Ali Lohans face for the next month

peace out bitches

Today In History

2011-08-25T09:32:00.002-05:00

Can you believe what happened 10 years ago today??

the one, the only Aaliyah died...

I mean, it been 10 years.... RIP.

Aaliyah - Are You That Somebody by bobbypulanu

This song was pretty much the anthem of my 7th Grade career and I distinctly remember dancing/grinding to this on the dancefloor (aka the cafeteria with the tables pushed to the wall & some crate paper hung up) at our 7th grade dance. Ohhhhhh the memories....

I was most likely rockin some high water jeans, some terrible frosted eyeliner and any number of tops from contempo casuals stolen from my sisters closet. Total Fashionista! Avery was probably wearing the same top in a different color and neither of us has yet to pick up a pair of tweezers. Yikes!

p to the s. how great are the baby giggles at the end of this jammy jam jam?

Abercrombie Asks Mike Sorrentino to Stop Sporting its Threads

2011-08-17T09:57:00.003-05:00

Okay, this is good...we're on to something here. It starts with clothing retailers, then leads to media interviews, products they're endorsing...and pretty soon, if we can get the entire country to agree that the Jersey Shore cast is tarnishing the American image, they'll disappear!

Wait a minute...what am I talking about?! I don't want them to disappear! How will I know when to GTL? Or blow the grenade horn on some fugly biatch? How will I learn how to speak well english, Deena? Jersey Shore can't disappear! They are America.

But I guess they can stop wearing Abercrombie & Fitch. Actually, I think A&F is doing Mike (I refuse to address him as The YouKnowWhat) a favor. Because last time I checked, unless you're an A cup with no hips, ass or thighs with a learner's permit, you don't wear Abercrombie & Fitch. So Mike, I'd take the money and run. You asshole. Why are you getting paid for everything you do?

Look, if someone wants to pay me to make pizza, get shitfaced in an Italian club and stumble home to eat late night and smoke cigarettes along with an additional bonus sum to not wear Abercrombie (like I could even fit in it), just tell me where to sign. In the meantime, I'll get back to work in my cubicle.

Thanks Gup!

Sweet Ass Blog Alert: Monday Edition

2011-08-15T10:22:00.005-05:00

Anybody who is enthusiastic about returning to work on Monday, either has a short work week or it's pay day or something. Because most normal humans (who I know) are not excited about waking up at the crack of dawn to prepare themselves to look presentable to sit in front of a computer screen all day. Most of us are hungover, hating our bank accounts and already making plans for this coming weekend.

And that's when Hungover Owls comes into play. At least we're not alone. Humans are not the only ones who get down at night. Owls party. And apparently, pretty hard. And somebody has captured their morning after beauty shots, like this one:

“Oh God. Why is it so…day right now?”

To sympathize with other hungover owls, click here. At least Monday is half way over now, right?

Yeah, it still sucks.

Grandma Buys DVD Player and Porn for the Price of One!

2011-08-12T10:39:00.004-05:00

From the Fort Worth Star-Telegram:

Try as I might, I can't persuade a Fort Worth grandmother to buy a second DVD player for her granddaughter. Karen Turrentine wants no part of it.

Last month, she bought one at Walmart in White Settlement. She wanted to test it, so she hooked it up to her TV.

"I saw there was a DVD in there. When I got it out, the title was Porn Stars, Volume 10. What in the world? Is this a joke?

"My husband told me to turn it on and see. I put it in, and it was like no advertisement, no cartoons, no previews. It happened instantly. I hit play, and it showed a woman with her body parts flying around, and there was one with a man and a woman. Oh, my God, this thing was real! If I had given that to my granddaughter. ...

"We bought it off the shelf. It was taped like it was new."

Getting a refund from Walmart wasn't easy, she said. She made many calls. No one apologized. Walmart, as is its usual practice, did not respond to my request for comment. I'm trying to convince Turrentine that it's OK to try again with a DVD player, but she doesn't believe me. Who can blame her?

This is just one of those stories that ya just can't make up. It starts out like all wild and crazy, but true stories do...at Walmart.

I understand that part of the story is necessary. People will want to know where she bought a porno-playin' DVD player for one of two reasons. One, so they know NOT to buy their DVD players from Pornmart. Or two, so they know exactly where to score a free porno flick.

And while the next part of the story is really quite unnecessary, I do applaud the reporter for making sure he stuck in Granny's quote, "it showed a woman with her body parts flying around, and there was one with a man and a woman. Oh, my God..." And kudos for naming the title in the story, Porn Stars, Volume 10. Because, let's be honest, we were all curious.

Hmm, it kind of has a NOW That's What I Call Music ring to it. NOW That's what I Call Porn, Vol 69!

Can you imagine if Granny hadn't tested out the DVD player before giving it to her granddaughter (which speaking of, since when are you supposed to 'test out' gifts before giving them?)? How uncomfortable would that next conversation be? "Oh, so it was in there when you bought it? Uh-huh, sure Grandma...I know you like to test out gifts before giving them...."

This story actually reminds me of a time when I was about 8 or 9, my parents had gone to dinner and left my brother and I at the house. Older brother was too cool to play with me at the time, so he was back in his room, ignoring me. I decided I would pop in one of my all-time fave cartoons, The Brave Little Toaster, until my parents got home.

And what I saw on the TV screen next, was definitely not a little toaster. But a man. Naked. With two women. Also, naked.

Someone had the audacity to record over a child's cartoon with a... with a...I can't even say it. It still remains a family mystery in my household. The culprit has yet to come forth. And, quite honestly I never hope they do. I'm still devastated and can't look at that movie the same ever again.

So, bringing it back full circle here - always test your DVD players, folks. You never know when your child or grandchild might want to pop in the Brave Little Toaster.

Kitten Faces!

2011-08-10T13:35:00.005-05:00

Ready to spend an inappropriate amount of time on one of the most pointless, yet greatest site?

Take a looksie at Kitten Faces

A cat-tastic site that lets you upload a pic, and it randomly chooses kitten faces to cover some of the faces in the pic (not really sure how it chooses, but out of the 2 I chose to upload, it covered only those of ppl that have blogged for T4T..... coincidence? I think NOT!)

Here we are with the resident COAFG inventor and blogger (with me rockin a huge cat head)

And I felt it appropriate as football season is fast approaching to include a tailgate pic

Kate & Morgan got duped, but it of course included our previous WCC EChance

So go ahead and play around you kitties

Chuckle Of The Day

2011-08-09T12:03:00.002-05:00

full credit goes to Alamo Drafthouse for showing this to me, but I was doubled over laughing

Imagine if this woman was your grandmother? Who can get this excited about sponges?? Actually I wish I got this excited about anything

Cabbbbbsssssssss Arreeee Heeeeeeeeerrrrrrreeeeeee

2011-08-09T09:18:00.002-05:00

I would yell that all damn wknd long if I rented the Jersey Shore house!!!

I mean as dumb as this is, dont act like for a second, each and every one of you would not jump at the chance to take a spin around the stripper pole, yell at grenades off the balcony, and most IMPORTANTLY.....

take a call on THE duck phone!!

Too bad this place is jacked up (on roids) to the price of $2,500....

a freakin night.

Otherwise I would say T4T Avery's Bach party would be going down at Klub Karma fo sho

I could maybe even meet a gorilla juice head of my own?

Maybe I'll spray tan just in case one of wins the lottery.....

Chuckle Of The Day

2011-08-04T13:15:00.001-05:00

This is America wrapped up in a nutshell.....

case closed. No other reviews needed. Thanx Alex & Liam for your great investigative work!

Poor Puppy

2011-08-03T11:11:00.002-05:00

Dude, this guy is such a dick. Can't you see the dog is clearly wanting to play with you?

Throw the dog a stick, whydontcha?

Thanks Crawford!

Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie

2011-07-29T12:03:00.003-05:00

Here it is. The one picture on the internet that tugs at my heart strings on a sunny Friday afternoon....

How do you top a chimp bottle feeding a baby lion????

....put it in a pair of JORTS !!! AND have it look off in the distance a la Olan Mills style

but seriously.

This is too damn cute for words. I want to meet this chimp. #bucketlist

Yep, This Sounds About Right

2011-07-27T23:13:00.002-05:00

Jokes.com

John Mulaney - Blackouts

comedians.comedycentral.com

Jokes

Joke of the Day

Funny Jokes

Thanks Haley!

TGIF: The Best TV Line Up EVER

2011-07-27T06:20:00.003-05:00

Greetings from Palm Beach, friends! I'm out here for a work conference indoors all day and the beach is literally 100 yards away from me. So I might as well be in El Paso.

Anyway...we all remember when watching TV on a Friday night was that thing to do. TGIF - Thank Goodness it's Funny! Full House. Family Matters. Step by Step. With sprinkles of Boy Meets World, Dinosaurs, and Hangin' with Mr. Cooper!

Well, someone made a song about it. That someone was born in the great year of 1985, along with yours truly, T4T. Not only does the song cover TGIF greatness, but all things 90s. Take a lil peek and then lets discuss how bad Gak made your hands smell.

Thanks Erika!

Chuckle Of The Day

2011-07-25T14:53:00.001-05:00

dont we all....dont we all

Hottest Thing on the Net

2011-07-20T08:59:00.002-05:00

Now, its been a while, but I am back with the hottest thing on the internet......

No. Seriously.

My love for these 2 is now raised beyond words. Just watch. Swoon. Girls you will want to date these 2 (at the same time) and guys you will want to be them. Oh and super freakin shoutout to The Roots! Re-fucking-diculous mashup. Just plain sick

If you arent watching Fallon late night (Leno & Letterman who?) you are seriously missing out!

Calling All Clown Enthusiasts

2011-07-18T14:56:00.003-05:00

Haven't we all, at least once in our lifetime, wondered what it would be like to be a clown?

No?

Just T4T? Okay then...

Well, I'm asking you to consider it now. You. Bright lights. Big stage. Screaming crowd. Giant, over sized shoes and a red nose. Sounds like every 20something's dream, doesn't it?

Okay, so now's your chance! Clown enthusiasts can audition to become a part of the Ringling Bros Barnum & Bailey Circus! In addition to a 3-5 minute routine, auditionees will be asked to show their ability to display exaggerated facial expressions, athleticism or any unique physical skills, as well as a sense of personality and why they wish to become part of The Greatest Show On Earth.

Sounds like a barrel of laughs! I, unfortunately will be out of town...but if anyone dares to audition please, please, please document it somehow. I'll pay you. In alco-bevs. Great.

Side note: T4T didn't ever want to be clowns in real life, but how hilarious of a Halloween costume would that be? If you went all out. It never materialized, unfortunately, but we did go so far as to buy the noses and tweedle dee and tweedle dum type hats, think these.

T4T Drought

2011-07-18T08:59:00.003-05:00

Almost as bad as our great state of Texas' current actual drought, T4T has been in a state of emergency. Lying dormant for nearly a month, this activity (or lack thereof) is honestly, inexcusable.

My apologies for both myself and my other half. I really don't even have an excuse...have I been busy? I guess - but no busier than normal. So, I'm sorry for those of you that have tuned in, in hopes of finding the internet's latest and greatest, only to find that horrendous picture of Katy Perry's horrendous Hershey Kiss boobies. It's quite simply, and to quote Beldar Conehead, "un-ac-ceptable."

So, to kickoff the rebirth of T4T, here is a video of myself at my desk this sleepy, Monday morning:

The T4T drought is over! So prepare yourself for the T4T flood, because you know what they say, "when it rains, it pours."

Actually, don't hold your breath...but we are back to posting on a ~~somewhat~~ regular basis.

Kthxbai!

Please Stop Katy Perry

2011-06-24T10:40:00.005-05:00

File this under: rant...... But she must be stopped.

Look at what she is wearing on the new cover of rolling stone:

Seriously? No. Seriously?

Hershey Kiss boobs? Come on, Katy. And come on Rolling Stone. This is all you have?

Oh thats right, she is a terrible singer live, cant dance, so she just dresses her boobs up and goes out to bounce around the stage. I mean, am I wrong?

I will say her songs are catchy and get stuck in my head, and they are often those annoying few lines I keep repeating, but homegirl: from me to you...... you dont even look hot here. You look like a desperate cougar covered in tin foil.

I also cant even post part of the article here, for it would completely bring down the credibility of this blog, but she spends an exceptional amount of time talking about her boobs, and how they have affected her life as a kid, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...........shut up already

k I need to shut up too....rant over

happy friday. you can catch me out and about in this exact outfit!

Chuckle of the Day

2011-06-22T10:03:00.001-05:00

I don't even think I can say anything that will justify the pure comedy that's about to ensue...so I won't. Just watch.

Sweet Ass Blog Alert

2011-06-21T15:37:00.004-05:00

Birds are funny little creatures, aren't they? Growing up with two bird-loving parents, I never considered myself a bird lover - and I still don't really think I am - but I'm learning to appreciate them.

So, I might not be a bird lover, but I'll tell you what I definitely do love...birds with arms.

Birds with human arms.

I mean, who doesn't chuckle at the idea of a pelican with human arms carrying a tote to the beach?

What about a male robin on a pommel horse? He's on a fucking pommel horse, dude! I don't care what you say - that's funny.

Click here to laugh at more birds with arms. I'm telling you, you won't regret it. In fact, you'll probably want to thank me later. Kthxbai.

Chuckle Of The Day

2011-06-21T12:53:00.002-05:00

oh.mai.gawd.

If this doesnt put a smile on your face, we can not be friends. It will never work. It just cant, because I get an abnormal amount of joy from this video alone. (I should probably see someone about this, but instead I will just watch this on repeat)

ME AT NINE, PERFORMING TO MADONNA IN SUMMER '91! from Robert Jeffrey on Vimeo.

good lawd!

This kid can move. Word on the internet streets is this lil 9 yr old Robert Jeffery filmed this on a blue screen back in '91 at some casino in Hampton Beach.

Okay lets get real for a hot second. None of you can pretend you didnt do something, if not this exact dance, back in the day in the privacy of your own room, bathroom, or on your parents old ass huge video camera (that is somewhere waiting for me to blackmail you with)

I will fess up and say my sister and I did this shit all the time. Like to the point where I think my parents would just leave the house and not tell us so they didnt have to see us do spins on the "new" tile (remember the first time you spun on the new tile, that shit worked so much better than carpet. Nope just me, huh? k moving on)

If I recall correctly a lot of our routines were to Mariah Careys first tape, NKOTB, and of course Kokomo by the Beach Boys. That Kokomo was the jam for any 5 yr old

So I would like to give a HUGE shoutout to Robert Jeffery, wherever you may be these days...cause you had some balls son. To get up and do this all alone..... #hero

p to the s. what great leg extensions you have. and also, are those soccer shoes you are rocking? What a fucking badass

Dearest Stephanie

2011-06-17T12:50:00.007-05:00

A poem she wrote me was two years ago. And now, a poem for her I bestow. A cop out, you say? Well you can bug off, because imitation is the best form of flattery, no?

My classmate, Wild Thing and friend. A poem to describe your greatness - I would not know where to end.

To only share memories of velvet shirts and four eyes, a good friend I am not. Perhaps I should mention someone got a new haircut and homegirl's lookin' hot!

A poem to describe our friendship throughout the years, might only be funny to us. But, guess what? It's our blog and I don't give a f- ...I won't make a fuss.

So as we embark on our 26th year together, I'll share with you a few words - that will leave you with something other than a frown. "Hold on wait...I'm getting some feedback - turn your radio down."

Growing Old Together (and no, this is not a love poem)

Shopping at Forever 21 can't last forever,
But let's be honest - we've at least got a few more years there together.

A prank call from a DJ or Will Buford was funny a while back.
But a call asking if you've seen Clint's motorcycle will always make us crack.

A fight over Fat Joe that once left me alone and crying as my heart sank
Could nowadays be easily resolved with a shot and a plank!

Tattoos are fine, this is 2011
But the words "poop" and "I love chips & salsa" written in permanent marker?
Now just can't be forgiven.

Some nights have been hazy and I know we'll continue to have some a blur
But just cause we're getting older doesn't mean I'll stop writing
"SW + KM = LOVE FOREVER"

As we slowly make our way out of our 20s, I wonder how long our ridiculousness will last?
I can only hope well into our 60s, cause this is a fucking blast!
Cheesy last line? Sure. Awesome poem? Yes. I thought about ending with "I can only hope well into our 60s, cause you're a fucking blast (in a glass, like Deena!)" I had to throw in a Jersey Shore reference somewhere, right? Well, the more I thought about it, it just didn't seem to flow, so I cut it out, but know that I always have ~~Pauly D~~ Jersey Shore on the mind.

***Update***
OOPS! I forgot to include the most important part of this post!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEFANIA!
see you soon, homie! Have fun this weekend, DD me, heytell me, kthxbai!

Happy Burfday Aves!!

2011-06-10T12:17:00.003-05:00

You might not be aware that it is T4T's B-day MONTH (most likely b/c we have not been bloggin and reminding you daily, but alas, it has arrived)

We kinda really get into each others B-days here on the ole blogsophere, and try to one up each other....usually resulting in Aves posting pictures from my awkward years (age 12-15 for every tween girl) and quickly taking away what I thought was going to be the best B-day post to date.

I started with a poem, for my one, my only, and last year exposed the LOL AVES

So this year (after quickly realizing I had nothing left in the think tank) I thought what better way to toast Ms Avery Not for Much Longer Roth than with her very own song!

Thanks to the help of the great duo Duck Sauce, and of course the internet (with a special shoutout to B Streisand herself)....

Please take a listen to the limited edition, soon to be hottest club jam: Avery Roth

Of course you can pick different voices, but as soon as I saw chipmunk the decision was made

So cheers to you Aves!!! Happy Burfday to you and hope you have a smashing time this entire weekend!!! :) :) :)

P to the S. FYYYYYYIIIIIIIII Ders: We are on the downhill slope to 30....FOL (fuck our lives, in case you didnt pick up on that)

P to the double S: Can 30 yr olds have blogs such as this? Guess theres a 1st time for everything

Chuckle Of The Day

2011-06-08T13:41:00.002-05:00

"The Look" edition

We all know this look, especially popular on the politician circuit, and recently spread across the newest victim Mr Weiner himself.

NY Times, created this great Brady-esque montage of the last 6 big ones. So beware, future and current politicians. You better start practicing this double chin frown in the mirror, cause no one is safe, especially not wieners.

Sports Talk From Someone Who Doesn't Really Know Much About Sports

2011-06-07T18:34:00.003-05:00

Even I'm getting sports goosebumps. Go Mavs!

T4T Plank

2011-06-06T09:48:00.001-05:00

T4T planking at Fort Worth's finest establishment, Oui Lounge.
Happy Mondai!

Thumbs Up for Rock and Roll!

2011-06-06T09:41:00.001-05:00

Does this boy come in pocket size? I think we could all use a daily does of this kid.

Sports Talk, From Someone Who Talks Way Too Much About Sports

2011-06-01T12:24:00.002-05:00

And thats the nicest way I can say anything about the Heat

thank you and good night.....

DIRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Awwww crap, I just cant keep my mouth shut. I am not a good loser. One of the worst actually....so I cant really talk about the game last night, I can only look forward to Game 2

Well, This is Embarrassing.

2011-05-31T14:12:00.003-05:00

What do you do if a fly ball is coming your way at a ball game? Get up and move (assuming you're not the kind of grown man who still brings a glove to a baseball game...because, earth to you, that's ridiculous. you're over the age of nine, #growthefuckup), right?

Well, not if you're fat! This disgusting woman makes me embarrassed to be from Dallas. She also makes me embarrassed to be a woman. Embarrassed to be a Ranger fan. Embarrassed to be an American. And embarrassed to be a human, in general.

I mean, she doesn't even try to get up. I would think she would, just out of natural instinct, but I guess when you're that large, you lose your mobility instincts.

Okay, that was mean and uncalled for. But really, lady? Just gonna sit there and take a direct shot to the fupa, huh?

Chuckle of the Day

2011-05-26T10:17:00.002-05:00

Disclaimer: I haven't even watched this. Just came across it via Twitter and thought it's worthy of a repost. Bold move? Perhaps. Right move? Yup.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Will Ferrell from Will Ferrell

Daily Cuteness

2011-05-24T15:15:00.003-05:00

Many have probably seen this already, but I've been out of town for 5 days! Cut me some slack, will ya?

Anyway, this might be the cutest thing I've seen since the giggling penguin.

Thanks Caro!

What the Plank?

2011-05-24T14:31:00.002-05:00

Ok y'all, who can tell me more about this planking craze?

According to Wikipedia, planking "is the act of lying face down with arms to the sides of the body, in unusual public spaces and photographing it."

The fad has origins in Australia and just like every other awesome trend, it's starting to spread like wildfire. Why haven't we heard of this yet?!?

Who's planking out there? Send us pics! T4T will be together again next weekend, I foresee planking in our future.

(Thanks to our former WCC Erin C. for sending...you're not alone)

Chuckle Of The Day

2011-05-24T12:21:00.003-05:00

Gaga is so jeal of this right now, its not even funny

I mean, this person (is it a guy or a gal? I honestly have no idea, the bling is totes throwin me off, but I am gonna go with dude)

So this dude, has a full on zipper attached to his head, and a hairstyle based around that fact.

Question: does he take the zipper off to shower and sleep?

And better question: Is he all embarrassed if someone sees him without his zipper on?

On another note, I promise (okay scratch that) I hope I will start bloggin more.... in the meantime, any new guest bloggers/ funny/ random ppl out there want to blog for T4T? Practically anyone is welcome, zipper-heads included!

Question of the Day

2011-05-17T12:38:00.002-05:00

Why?

No seriously. Why.

Why on earth would anyone feel it was necessary to have a photoshoot taken while pregnant and dressed up as a playboy bunny? Can someone please explain the need for this, or better yet, who on earth would find this appealing?

I honestly thought Ivanka might have missed the crazy gene from her father, but this photo ends that debate with one swift flash of the camera.

I. just. can't.even.

Nicolas Cage: Actor

2011-05-12T09:34:00.000-05:00

A little over a year ago, I posed a question on T4T that has plagued me for years, however I am happy to report that I now can confidently answer the question, without a doubt in my mind. Who is the better actor, America? Nic ~~Rage~~ Cage or Brendan Fraser? The answer is Brendan Fraser, people, Brendan Fraser.

Yes, in the old blog post, you'll notice that I was initially leaning toward Brendan being the better actor, after each argument was made, but I am 100% confident that I made the right choice. How did I finally come to this conclusion? Watch this video and tell me that this guy is a real actor:

In fact, I'm not so sure these movies are real? I think they were created for the sole purpose of putting them together for some sort of funny youtube video or a blooper reel. I mean, those aren't real scenes from actual movies, right?

Bonus material:

Chuckle Of The Day

2011-05-10T15:07:00.003-05:00

Beware to any long time in the future children of mine.....

........this will be your fate

Avery's Gettin Hitched!

2011-05-09T11:54:00.004-05:00

Thats right folks, Aves is officially off the market, and up a few laser cat save the dates! (if you dont use this aves, you will be breaking my heart, p to the s)

I may have shed a tear outside a bar this wknd when I found out, and was in a drunken haze about the engagement story, but from what I remember the highlights include GumbyStix rollin around in some poop, and Avery nommin on a triscut (matches made in heaven right?)

All jokes aside, I couldnt be happier for 2 of my bestest friends in the whole wide world!!

And, I know yall haven't even begun to plan anything, but might I suggest that yall make your wedding into a music video like these goons did? (I know Avery's love for the Black Eyed Peas knows no bounds, so this song in itself might be peerrrrrrffeeeccttttttttt)

joya and emre | wedding music video from David Robin on Vimeo.

When Two Worlds Collide

2011-05-06T09:36:00.005-05:00

Two major events went down in history over the last week...although, one can be argued as hardly historic, it still appeared to be a big fucking deal. Can you guess which two events I'm talking about?

No...the travesty of Casey Abrams getting kicked off Idol last week was epic, but it's not what I had in mind.

I was talking about the royal wedding and death of Bin Laden, doi!

Anyway, people have been dissecting photos from each event and I think it's safe to say that two photographs (one from each event) will stand the test of time and encapsulate each historic event.

Let's start with the Royal Wedding...when you think about the royal wedding that took place last Friday, what's the first thing that comes to mind?

Princess Beatrice's awful hat, right? I know!

And what about the chilling events that took place last Sunday...and the announcement of Bin Laden's death? Why of course, the situation room photo...

Thanks to modern advances in technology (achem, photoshop), it's easy to alter a picture...and we all know how to spot a picture on the Internet that's been tampered with. You'll notice in the situation room picture...it seems the government or someone has changed the picture to give it a different feel. To make Americans really feel the tension and extreme stress that took place that night.

But what you have not seen was the photo in its original state. Until now:

God is Doin' a Nu Thang

2011-05-05T09:20:00.004-05:00

My three favorite things about this video:
1. His clothes, obvi.
2. The 1:32 mark...wait for it.
3. How he runs out of breath every 10 seconds

I would LOVE to talk with this kid today. Consider this my unofficial campaign for officially trying to find this boy! If anybody has any clues to his whereabouts, please contact me, tweet me, anything!

Some questions I'd like to ask him:
1. Can you still move like that?
2. Do those pants still fit?
3. Who wrote the lyrics?
4. Is God still doin' a nu thang?
5. Are you single?

And there's more where that came from! Please join me in the search to find this boy. I will pay you...in lolcat pictures. Kthxbai.

***Update***Welp...looks like the world had the same idea I did and someone already beat me to it. T4T readers...meet Mr. Michael Clancy, the 29 year old lawyer, living in Phoenix, AZ. And Mr. Clancy, if you find this - gimme a ring, let's get to know each other.

And thanks to Casey for the name drop!

Chuckle of the Day

2011-05-05T09:10:00.000-05:00

TGIAF (thank God it's almost Friday)

Chuckle Of The Day

2011-05-02T13:26:00.001-05:00

YUP.

Non Political Statement, Statement

2011-05-02T10:27:00.005-05:00

Have I ever toted my love for emojis on the blog? Well they are pretty much the cats pajamas, and can cover a variety of events and feelings.

They can even transfer breaking news, as they so effortlessly accomplished last night.

If I could, I would speak ONLY in emojis, but unfortunately letters and phrases are sometimes necessary, but that will not stop me from trying....

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming....

As If I Needed One More Show to Watch...

2011-04-25T10:18:00.003-05:00

Before Jared Leto got all douchey in 30 Seconds to Mars, he was the sensitive hottie musician in My So Called Life. I'll be honest...I think this show was before my time as I would secretly watch reruns on MTV (sidenote: I was not allowed to watch MTV after my dad walked in the living room as my brother and I were watching MTV Spring Break, with Jerry Springer hosting a naked shaving cream dance party in Cancun when I was about...eleven).

Anyway, MSCL was short-lived, airing only one season (another show that ended too soon, Freaks and Geeks - get on that, IFC network). I'm excited to announce the return of MSCL, but more importantly, the return of Jordan Catalano!!! Swoon.

Set the DVR, fools. Recognize.

Where Can I Find One of These?

2011-04-20T10:06:00.003-05:00

The single most cutest thing you will see today...and quite possibly the single most cutest thing EVER.

How many times did you watch that video? Anything less than three and you're lyin'.

Daily Cuteness: The Puppy Cam Returns!

2011-04-19T13:31:00.003-05:00

Two of my favorite things are the internet and puppies. So it is only natural that the two combine forces (although, I will say, it's going to be impossible for any kind of animal to infiltrate the internet like the feline population has already done).

I know all of you remember the Shiba Inu puppy cam of '09. It was the original animal cam...well, guess what bitches? IT'S BACK! Cuter and tinier than ever! Thanks for the find, Matt!

Try not to waste your day away watching these cute lil pups here.

As a bonus, here's me hangin' with my friend Bacon.

What? It was hot outside, okay?

I Can Haz, Plz?

2011-04-18T11:38:00.001-05:00

Want. Need. Now.

Thanks to Erin C., former WCC and cat-lover always.

Day 3 Coachella Sunset Perfection

2011-04-17T21:32:00.000-05:00

Good Morning from the desert!! 1 hr of sleep and ready to go

2011-04-15T11:26:00.000-05:00

Weekly Round Up

2011-04-14T10:44:00.006-05:00

OMGahhh, y'all! My long absence from this blog could maybe be considered unacceptable, but as T4TStephanie mentioned yesterday....you probably aren't reading, so who cares.

Believe it or not, things have been...busy. Work has been busy. My after-work life has been kinda busy too? What is going on?! I'm never too busy for the internet! Anyway, there have been many things that I've been meaning to share with you guys, but I just can't seem to find the time to share (not an excuse, I know).

Please accept the following links as my sincerest apologies. Here are some things that have been on my mind lately...

1. The complete history of SNL's Jeopardy! sketches: Perhaps the greatest reoccurring SNL sketch of all time? You be the judge...

2. Chicks with Steve Buscemeyes. Hot chicks. Hot eyes.

3. Taco Bells tests Nacho Cheese Dorito taco shells. #fatass.

4. Workaholics. The show you should be watching. Period. (#bearcoat).

5. Portlandia. The show you should have been watching, but it's over now. Don't worry, it'll be back for season 2, in the meantime, catch up, homes.

6. Angry Boys. The show you will be watching, if you're a fan of Summer Heights High.

7. Walk. Did you hear me? STFU, little boy, and walk.

8. I can haz, plz? Lucy, where's my white collarless shirt from Fred Segal!? #t4tbirthdaypresent

9. Honey badger. At this point, yeah, I know...it's old. But does that make it any less funny? Didn't think so.

9a. Tempting.

10. Finally, T4T readers in the DFDub, come hang witcha gurl tomorrow night here.

Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie

2011-04-13T16:42:00.001-05:00

that kid going from sleeping to instant gangsta. oh. mai. gawd.

cutest thing I have seen all day

oh a random note, I'm pretty sure they live in Dallas (K 104 what up!) so Avery, find him, and steal him for me. kthanxbai

Kitten Fingers Goes to Coachella

2011-04-13T14:13:00.004-05:00

oh heyyyyyyyyyy there! Yes I am alive, and I have been neglecting the blog, but you aren't reading anyways, so who cares

I am here to tell you that I will hopefully be filled with many a tales to tell after I get back from..............

COACHELLA!

suck it bitches. Leaving tomorrow. Might never come back

Wanted to leave you all with a great video Mr Kitten Fingers himself made of his trip to the desert land last year

So, lets allllllll tell him he must make another this year!!!! Featuring yours truly. We are camping, not sleeping, ever and embracing our dirty hippies

See yall on Tuesday and if you lucky (aka if I have any cell phone service) Ill try to post a few things live from the fest

Daily Truth

2011-04-06T16:48:00.002-05:00

Bird Watching

2011-04-01T08:30:00.005-05:00

Y'all, I meant to post this yesterday, but it's not too late. You need to click HERE to watch a live stream of bald eagles sitting in their nest, with little babies ready to hatch at any moment.

Dorky? Maybe. Awesome? Hellz ya! For those of you who know my father, you shouldn't be surprised that I'm posting this. I have recieved numerous calls from my dad over the years, as he's pulled over on the side of the road to experience "a flock of turkey vultures feasting on some sort of decaying mammal carcass" or to watch "a magnificent group of hawks circling high above their prey." Actually, both of my parents are bird lovers (which could explain the number of ceramic birds in my mom's house, the bird clock or the abundant supply of bird books). However, I'm not completely innocent - I've called my dad to tell him I saw a giant hawk gripping a pigeon in his talons, ready to feed by Northpark Mall. I also freaked last year when my boyfriend and I saw a bald eagle nesting high above the tree line in Florida. So...I guess you could say it runs in the family? But, I'm not necessarily a bird lover like the rents, but you can't deny that this live stream of America's bird isn't fucking sweet, am I right?

Here's the link one more time - I encourage you all to check it out at least ~~eight times~~ once ~~a day~~.

Thanks, Haley!

Parents Do Darndest Things

2011-03-31T15:31:00.003-05:00

So as you know, yet neither of my rents do, I sometimes like to poke (okay fine) make fun of them on this blog.....

I mean they just set up stuff for me to post about, I cant help it...can I?

well I cant, so moving on....

(small back-story) If you are one of the 14 regular readers you will remember my dad fulfilling his mid life crisis last year after purchasing a new toy ....aka a Harley

*and update, he now owns leather boots, jacket, etc....but thank gawd, still no fringe! whew*

So my dad comes down to Austin to drop off a bunch of furniture for my DNA connection (aka sister) and decides to rent a UHaul and "just throw the ole harley in the back so I can ride it back through the hill country"

"Steph, it will work out great" "oh no! its supposed to rain on Thurs Steph, so I am coming on Tuesday" "Steph dont hit my baby with that chair" "Steph do you want to go on a spin around the block" "Steph, look how little I packed" "Steph...loooookkkkkk ...." (repeat x 100 and you get the idea)

So this never ending back-story brings me to my pop's FB profile picture

the first one had only been up for a few months and is a picture of his baby in the garage

Then yesterday this pops up on my news feed:

The freaking Harley in a field of bluebonnets.

i. die.

Not his kids, not him, not his wife, not the dog, but the damn Harley. Parked on the side of the highway somewhere on his trek through the Hill Country

So its official. The Harley prob just took my spot in the will

Half kidding, but if this isn't proof I'm not the baby anymore, than I don't know what is? Unless I come home to find my room covered in Harley memorabilia and this big machine sleeping in my bed

I'll keep y'all posted

Cute Ass Blog Alert

2011-03-31T15:22:00.002-05:00

are yall ready for this cuteness?????

If you are looking to say awwwwwwww all day long, then head on over to Fuck Yeah Interspecies Friendships

Prepare yourself for a cuteness overload

And gimme all these lil furballs stat!

Blast from the Past: Mall Fun!

2011-03-31T10:07:00.006-05:00

Continuing the discussion from my counterpart below, re: Signs I'm Old, this post truly is a blast from the past. The blog, How to Be a Retronaut has put together a wonderful assortment of photos from various malls in the U.S. of A, circa 1990. And to make my fellow millennials feel a bit seasoned, that was over TWO DECADES AGO (Sorry to our T4T readers of elder generations)!

So anyway, take a looksie through these pictures and relive your younger years when acid wash, crop tops and high-waisted jeans were the "it fashions"...wait, what's changed?

A couple of examples:

Check out these hoodrats, spending all day at the mall...reminds me of the glory days when my friends and I would spend countless hours at the mall - dousing ourselves with every scent of body spray at Bath & Body Works (what up, cucumber melon!!!), loading on the body glitter at Claire's and then hopping over to Contempo Casuals for the latest Cher and Tai fashions.

Try not to be mesmerized by this gentleman's pecs in the foreground. This picture holds sentimental value for me based on the store in the background. I distinctly remember my mother asking me to go to Valley View mall with her one day, so she could pick something up. I'm almost positive I was being a little shit head about it, so she said if I went with her, she'd take me to K B Toys after she got what she needed. Well...not so fast, Mom. The gravitational pull of Casual Corner, otherwise known as a pushy saleslady in a woman's leisure suit, named Kay, sucked my mom in. After what seemed like centuries of sitting on the floor in the dressing room playing with clothing tags and lint balls, listening to my mom and Kay schmooze about the fahhhbulous fashions she was trying on, we finally left Casual Corner (ok, it wasn't centuries, but I swear a solid two hours). We approached K B Toys just in time to see the sales associate pull down the metal gates, closing the store right before my swelling eyes. I was devastated. Devastated for about 10 minutes until we reached the McDonald's drive through, but devastated nonetheless.

I'm sure we all have stories like that...where our mothers dragged us into a modern womanswear store, a la Casual Corner, or Stephanie's favorite: Accessory Lady (and let's be honest here, I'm almost positive I'll be dragging my child around the mall at some point, because a sista's gotta shop, ya hear me??).

Stephanie will do a much better job telling this story, but I'll give you the gist of it...poor, little, four-year-old Stephanie was sitting at an Accessory Lady while her mother was trying on some of the latest fashions and happened to get a little too close to one of the mirrors. One of the stuffy, old bitches that worked behind the counter got upset with little Stephanie and handed her a spray bottle of Windex and a paper towel and told her to clean the mirror after she smudged her grimy little fingers all over it (I don't actually know if she told Stephanie she had grimy, little fingers, but it sounded better...)

Anyway...I'm getting carried away with mall horror stories. Take a look at these gems, taken at malls from around the country in 1990 and hopefully some of your fondest mall memories will come flooding back. Enjoy!

Signs I'm Old

2011-03-28T14:19:00.002-05:00

Well, there are many more than this, but after Friday night I am well aware I'm no longer down with college life (and the fact that I just used the term "down with" is proof enough in itself)

Setting: hittin up the old college mexi local: Santa Rita for some b-day margs and noms

walk-in. See hoards of what look like 18 yr olds. Blinded by neon tank tops, fishing shirts, boat shoes and fanny packs. Wonder if I am in twilight zone....

finally realize its freakin Round Up wknd. Instantly curse myself and feel like an old fart

How. H-O-W did I not know what wknd it was this year? Why. W-H-Y did we think it was a good idea to go to the old college hood to try to have a nice, tipsy, old ass person dinner?

This wknd used to be the 2nd best highlight of the spring (after MTV spring break of course......half kidding) for me since I was 16 yrs old.

For some reason, still unknown to me, my parents agreed to let me come down and party with my sister at the tender age of 16. What a wknd that was. Most of the stories are not safe for the blogosphere, or I can not remember or have blocked them out, but you best bet your ass I was frolicking around at frat houses and apts rockin a sweet pair of black express pants (dont act like all your didnt have those too) and some sort of shelf bra tank with rhinestones from the gap, being asked if (and I kid you not) "wanted to reenact Jailbait" the made for MTV movie

(shuddering at the thought of ever having children)

Alas, this became one of the best wknds of the year, and it only continued on through out my time at UT. T4T shared their ridiculous share of Round Up antics (just a few pics from soph year):

the ever popular "settlement pose"

It would take an entire post in itself to explain the duration of the settlement pose from creation, to its existence today. Here we are demonstrating what appears to be the washingboard

this demonstrates the long length of our (probably abercrombie) jean skirts. They are in fact under those shirts. *and wearing 2 of the worst pairs of sunglasses I have ever seen and do not recall even owning???

All pictures taken in our 2nd home, and frat house apt 301 (RIP) Many a plastic bottles downed and entirely too many pictures taken that only make me remember the good ole days

....and remind me I am officially old and can no longer take part (or know when) Round Up wknd is

Sor to Keep Talking About Rebecca Black, But...

2011-03-25T14:59:00.002-05:00

It's Friday, Friday! Gotta get down on Friday...

No, seriously - it is Friday, and you know you wanna get down.

But, seriously - the reason for this post is simple: Leave Rebecca alone! #ChrisCrocker

Ok, seriously this time - If you recall, last week I defended Becca B. and pointed out that her lyrics were nothing worse than LFO's Summer Girls and Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry (which IMO, is quite possibly the worst song in the world, but that's a debate for a whole other day). Well, yesterday Funny or Die posted 7 song lyrics worse than Rebecca Black's "Friday", and I've gotta say, they definitely pulled out some horrendous lyrics, like:

R. Kelly's "Ignition" -- "Can I get a toot toot? Can I get a beep beep?" or "Sippin on coke and rum, I'm like so what I'm drunk - It's the freakin' weekend baby, I'm about to have me some fun."

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't the last lyric sound like the 35 year old man's version of "It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday. Everybody's lookin forward to the weekend, weekend!"?

Moving on...FOD also cited Avril Lavigne's "Sk8tr Boi" which should also be reprimanded for the use of spelling words differently just to be kewl. But, her song begins, "He was a boy. She was a girl. Can I make it more obvious?" Not even commenting on this one.

To see more terrible lyrics, click here.

Oh! I almost forgot...FOD gave the coveted No. 1 spot of Lyrics Worse Than Rebecca Black's "Friday" to ANYTHING by the one...the only...Black Eyed Peas.

Just as some reinforcement...a older video that some of you may have seen, but it nevertheless proves why BEP lyrics are no better than Rebecca Black's

Black Eyed Peas Have Officially Written The Worst Song Ever -- powered by Cracked.com

Oh and I'm not through standing up for Becca B.! She plans to donate ALL of her earnings to Japanese charities and to her school, so suck it, haters!

Here Lil Piggies....

2011-03-25T13:45:00.002-05:00

Who likes ice cream?

Who lives in the ATX?

Who is too poor to pay for any cream on their own?

Who is still reading?

Well you, lil oink oink piggies are in luck! Next Tuesday all Amy's Ice Cream stores are giving away free cream from 3-7 to promote Google's new Google places, or some shiz like that...who cares...gimme gimme gimmeeeeeeee

Would it be bad to hit up more than one location??? #COAFG